Marriage....

This is a little different from my normal posts but I saw this video a friend sent me (Thanks K!) and I just wanted to share a little bit about it.  It's called Sex, Marriage and Fairytales.  The guy who did this does a lot of different ones and they are awesome!  They say things in a way that I wish I could on the spot at exactly the right time. 

I'm married to a wonderful man named Tito.  This picture was taken in 2007 the second day we met but we pretty much look the same.  We have been married for three and a half wonderful years.  People say that you are filled by Jesus and that a spouse doesn't fill a hole in you.  I agree wholeheartedly with the part about Jesus filling me and I know that I have to look to Him before I look to the man pictured above but I also believe that God sends people to fill a place in your heart.  Tito was sent by God to me to fill so many places in my heart and to be the teacher that God speaks through to get through to my hard head in so many ways.  I don't believe that it is just Tito, it is God in Tito and Tito allowing God to flow through him that allows him to love me so much and so well, I might add.  Women are crazy, me included and  I just don't know how he puts up with me sometimes!  God has used and is still using Tito to draw me closer to Him, to teach me things like tolerance, loving even when you don't want to, love is a choice, not an emotion and so many other things.  He has used Tito to shine this different light on God and his kingdom from the point of view of someone who didn't grow up in my world but in a totally different one in some ways.  Tito does an amazing job of leading me and at being led by the Holy Spirit. 

Now, I don't want everyone to think that my marriage is perfect and has no problems and we get along 100% of the time and go skipping through the fields together.  We have a friend who was a single mother up until a few weeks ago and she has a 16 year old daughter who comes over to our house or we are at theirs on a regular basis.  When we are together we are usually getting along fine and I'm sure in her eyes we are perfect so one day when I broke the news to her that we do have an argument on occasion she was floored!  I know that all of you married folks out there are laughing right now because we all know the truth is that if you live with a person long enough, especially if you are married, there are going to be some arguments, fights and if you are like me, lots of tears!  The truth is marriage is not easy at all.  I realize that I am still a newly wed in the grand scheme of things but the learning curve sure seems steep at this stage.  We have to work stuff out, we have to sit up to late some nights while I'm crying (not an unusual thing for me) and just talk it out or argue it out until we have come to an agreement or an agreement to disagree and still love each other.  There are some days that I am so in love with him and just want to hug him and other days when I want to wrap my hands around his neck and squeeze til his eyeballs pop out and still other days when I want to do both at the same time!

I'm heart broken by the number of people who get divorced, I'm not here to judge, I'm from a divorced home.  I want kids to know that marriage isn't a fairy tale like he says in the video, it's hard, really hard sometimes BUT it pays off!  You've got to work at it and work at it and work at it every day for the rest of your life, some days work is a walk in the park and some days you lay down at night and feel like you just walked through a war zone.  I understand that stuff happens and there are some marriages that dissolve.  Again, I'm not judging anyone here but here's what I know...I have 2 amazing parents and it didn't work out for them and the truth is that my brother and I are the ones who suffered and I just want to prevent that for my kids and as many others as possible.  I'm here only to encourage. 

If you are reading this and are still waiting for that special someone, DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS THAN THE BEST!!!  God has someone incredible out there for you.  Even if you aren't a Christian or you are but you just are a little off course, God wants the absolute best for you and loves you so much, even if you aren't feeling it right now.  Ask him to show you.  Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ's love for the church.  He loved us so much that he died for us and that is what men are instructed to do for their wives.  Women----Don't get your panties in a wad when it tells you to honor your husband...He's to die for you!  If a man can love me like that, the least I can do it honor and respect him (and cook him some good food every once in awhile ;).  No matter how you feel about yourself God thinks you are freakin' awesome (not sure if He uses words like freakin' but there it is.)  and He wants to give you so much more than you could ever even dream of! He did for me!!!  So wait for your Tito, uummmm I mean the man or woman God has for you.  (Back off, you can't have my Tito.)  So marry someone who is a fighter!  Not a person who loves to fight with people, that wouldn't be fun, but someone who will fight for the right thing and the stuff in life that matters.  Find someone who will argue with you and talk stuff out even when it's not fun (which is never in my book).  Find someone who loves you even when the @#$% hits the fan and you are a crazy hormonal woman or an irrational stubborn man.  But more than any of that, find someone who puts God over you as a priority in their life.  You'll fail them , they'll fail you and then the @#$% really hits the fan, but God never fails.